Austin FC
Ninety minutes of hope, followed by ninety seconds of stoppage-time panic. Verde in the heart, cardiologist on speed dial.
STATUS: EMOTIONALLY INVESTEDSignal acquired // Austin, TX // Earth // Sector 512
DanielMcFarland
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Pro tip: press ` for the terminal. There may also be a secret code. (There is.)
Telemetry
Highly scientific vital signs
Numbers collected by an independent research team of one. Margin of error: yes.
0
Referees personally yelled at through a TV screen
37
Dramatic sighs today
LIVE AND RISING
0
History facts deployed at parties, completely unprompted
∞
Houston underground deep cuts on rotation
0
Times "just one more game" meant four more games
0
Confidence that stoppage time is a personal attack
Mission briefing
Hi. I'm Daniel. It's a whole thing.
I live in Austin, Texas, where I write, overthink, and treat every minor inconvenience like the third act of a prestige drama. Lukewarm coffee? Tragedy. Package delayed a day? Betrayal. Austin FC concedes in the 94th minute? Please give me a moment. Actually, give me the weekend.
I run Walled Garden, a Medium publication about Apple, AI, and productivity for elder millennials who want their tech to work and their apps to stop asking for another subscription. (Some subscriptions are fine. I wrote a whole post about it.)
The rest of my processing power goes to soccer, American football, Houston's rap underground, and a mental archive of history facts nobody requested. You will hear about the Great Emu War. It's only a matter of time.
Incoming signals
Things that live rent free
Scanned directly from the brain. Some readings exceeded the scale.
American Football
Saturdays, Sundays, Monday nights, and that one Thursday game nobody asked for. Lineup set. Emotional stability not included.
STATUS: YELLING AT A REPLAYHouston Rap Underground
Slowed, chopped, and deeply respected. Ask me about the underground and clear your afternoon. Possibly your evening.
STATUS: SLOWED TO 0.75xThe Drama
Every email is a cliffhanger. Every Wi-Fi drop is a plot twist. I don't overreact. I react with full production value.
STATUS: ALWAYS ONInteractive exhibit
The Obscure History Machine
Fifty facts your history teacher skipped. It rotates on its own, or you can mash the buttons like it owes you money. Arrow keys work too.
ARCHIVE FILE #001 / 050YEAR: ----
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Facts absorbed: 1 / 50
Transmission
Walled Garden
My Medium publication. Practical Apple, AI, and productivity writing for elder millennials who remember dial-up and now argue with chatbots.
- Tool-hopping confessions (I have a problem)
- The apps actually worth paying for
- Making AI useful instead of just impressive
Open a channel
Say hi. I'll be dramatic about it.
All frequencies monitored. Response times vary based on match schedules.